Monday, March 9, 2009

Measuring Success In This Moment

As of late I have had a difficult time feeling like my life is a successful one. There is so much happening around me, some to me, and a lot has nothing to do with me. I just allow myself to get sucked into a place where I feel icky. I either hear something on the news that makes my heart sink or speak with someone who is dealing with something so heavy like a life-threatening emergency and I can't help but look inward at my own suffering.

As a Christian I know that I was never promised a life without suffering. And that God has and will always provide for me. What is that verse? "Many are the afflictions...but the Lord will deliver them..."

As a practicing Buddhist, suffering or dukha as I have come to understand it, is the first noble truth that the Buddha taught. I view it more as dissatisfaction.

It is so easy to focus on what we need (a car), want (more money) and desire (to grow my businesses) and rarely on what we already have (enough).

And when things are not going as I have planned or I spend my days putting out fires, it is a struggle for me to remain focused, single-minded, and completely mindful and yes, full of love, generosity, and compassion.

How Jesus and Buddha did it baffles me!

The other day, I called my best friend in Austin, Texas and we spoke very briefly. I think she picked up almost immediately that I was feeling overwhelmed. When I get like that, my tendency is to bolt. Run. Fast. Anywhere. Just go. The only problem with that is wherever I go, there I am and so are my problems. She calmly suggested that I find a quiet place to be alone with God and just let Him talk to me.

Her words were music to my ears.

A scripture from the Bible came to me. "Be still and know that I am God".

I took her advice and found in the midst of worry, dissatisfaction, and deep concern, a place to 'hide' and be quiet.

And there it was. His voice saying, "The real measurement of success is based on what you have, not what you want, desire or for that matter what you need. It is what you value in your life in this moment Dianna."

Ouch. That was a little uncomfortable.

I don't think that God was dismissing my needs. For I know that He meets all my needs. What He was saying is how is worrying about them going to get them to me any sooner. Enjoy now. Count my blessings in this moment.

How I take 'this moment' for granted. It is the only moment that counts. In this present moment, I have everything I need. I have my health. I have my family. In this moment I am surrounded by much love. Why isn't that enough? Shouldn't it be?

One would think.