Thursday, October 20, 2011

Man VS Ants


So the day started off with me realizing that I made a huge mistake last night before going to bed. I threw an empty bag of sugar into the trash can underneath the kitchen sink.

Lord have mercy! We woke up to the largest sugar ant infestation I have ever seen!

Well, my husband, being the manly man that he is, saw this as an all get out battle cry! It was on!

Now mind you, this was about 5:45 am in the morning when we discovered our kitchen had been invaded by this army of black ants!

So the first thing my husband did was grab an orange from the fridge and cut it up with the dullest knife he could find, which was not hard to do as we both agree that we have no sharp knives in our house. So after attempting to stab the orange to death, he managed to finally get an orange peel and exclaimed with excitement, "Oh, this will get 'EM," as he held the orange peel in the air waving it!

He proceeded to rub the peel on a portion of the wall to throw their scent off!

All it did was disperse them! They walked around the area he had rubbed the peel on. Almost as if in defiance. My husband swore they were doing the Dougie as if to tease my husband! Well, this did not set well with my now somewhat offended husband! SCORE: Man - 0. Ants - 1

My husband's next game plan was to set out the ant traps we had stored away by placing them in strategic places. He even attempted to use a push pin to stick them on one section of the wall to no avail. The trap fell on the floor.

It was at this point that I overheard my husband speaking to the ants, "Oh, you think that's funny huh?"

That's when my husband pulled out his GhostBuster outfit! This is when the real battle began!

He went all gangster on the ants and grabbed a paper towel and actually started killing them and yelling, "Take that! Oh you think just cause there is only one of me and you outnumber me that you're going to beat me?"

By this time he had basically called out these ants and they were on the attack jumping on him! He swore they were wearing little capes and they were carrying mini swords and were out to get him! SCORE: Man - 0. Ants - 2

Well, three hours later, the trail of ants had subsided but they were not giving up! They were still in hot pursuit of the bag of sugar that had been thrown away hours earlier! And they came back!

But this time, they came back with a vengeance and re-enforcements!

So, my husband challenged them and pulled out a bottle of Scrubbing Bubble cleaner! "This ought to do it," he said! And proceeded to spray them like a mad man!

(Everytime I walked by, I just nodded my head. Where does my husband come up with this stuff?)

Well it didn't work! It just made them more fierce and charge in more persistently but my husband took out quite a bit of ants this round. SCORE: Man - 1 Ants - 2

So here were are twelve hours later and these ants are not retreating! My husband swears they are hiding somewhere reorganizing and trying to outsmart him!

My husband decided to retreat and pull out his white flag...for today. He's up to something. He never gives up!

I'm pulling out a big bowl of sugar and inviting the ants to pull out their mini lawn chairs, their teeny tiny sunglasses and letting them enjoy a dip in the sugar bowl.

Knowing my husband, this ain't over! He will stay up tonight scheming and planning his attack in the morning. These ants are in for a real fight!

And these ants! They are serious about sugar!

Who was it that said, a little sugar goes a long way? Boy, they weren't kidding!