I'm Buddhist And Proud Of It!!

Today I am officially freeing myself. Actually, I was free all along, but I was not walking and living it. I was afraid to step out and be honest about who I really am.

Because if I was totally honest, I might be setting myself up to have to defend my own personal beliefs.

What? Is that crazy? Defend them to who?

It's stupid. That's what it is!

What I found myself doing was always appending to my proclamation of being a Buddhist practioner, that I was Christian raised (a believer), but for the last fifteen years, have also been a student of the Buddha.

Huh?

Why did I feel for the need to add or explain? And what does that all mean?

More importantly, who cares?!

And yet, I did it. Because who the hell has ever heard of a Mexican-Amercian Buddhist? "Aren't all Mexicans Catholic anyway?" was what I was afraid I would be asked.

Once again, who cares?

Was it my fear of being Mexican-American? No. Not Catholic? No. Or that I didn't perceive myself as being normal? Maybe.

And what the hell is normal anyway?

I certainly don't know!

Or was I just afraid I would not be accepted? Or possibly even judged?


Huh? Who's judging? Maybe...self?

If anyone else came to me and shared that they had these same thoughts, I would look at them and ask, "Why does it matter if you are Buddhist, Catholic, or whatever?"

I would encourage them to be their own person.

So, today, this stupid stuff ends. And it ends with me.

Being Buddhist has made me I believe a better mother, wife, friend, and yes, person.

Who cares what anyone thinks?

I am certain that no one was sitting around and wondering, "What is Dianna? Catholic? Muslim? Buddhist?"

No one other than my own ego. My own idea of self kept me prisoner. A prisoner in my mind only. Time to let go of this silly attachment and the suffering it has caused!

Get behind me Dianna (ego)!

I am one happy Buddhist! I am freeeeeeeeeeeee!

Shameless Plug

Here is a shameless plug for one of the many blogs my husband writes. I am so proud of him and his ability to speak his mind freely. Through him I have learned the power that exists in writing.

www.nomorerace.blogspot.com

Safe To Share

I think it is safe now to share what crazy, zany, and off-the-wall idea my husband had recently. And yes, I went along, so I guess that makes me just as loony.

Earnest signed us up to audition to be on a television show that was casting here locally in LA for couples. We auditioned last week. The name of the show is called "Crash Course" and it is produced by the same people at ABC's show "WipeOut."

The object of the show is for couples to compete against other couples performing car stunts for a BIG cash price. The producers of the show come up with crazy car stunts and the couples take turns attempting to perform the stunts.

Just for the record, I'm not a good driver and I am an awful passenger, especially when I ride shot gun. I drive my husband nuts! (Literally!) The Latina in me comes out and it is nerve wrecking I am told. To his credit, Earnest tunes me out except for those awkward looks he gives me when I flinch or brace myself suddenly while he is driving.

He loves to remind me that he has never had a car accident in the 30 plus years he has been driving. Me, on the other hand, well...

So, we made it to the next round of auditions and then it hit us. Maybe we should wait until the second season of the show so we can find out if this new show makes people look like idiots the way they do on "WipeOut." God knows, we don't need any help in that department. We are entertaining enough without a camera on us!

Needless to say, it was fun auditioning and getting away for a few hours alone with my husband.

I'm just not sure I really want to get in a moving vehicle, attempt a crazy car stunt and lose my wits and start cursing in Spanish in front of millions of people watching just to (possibly) win money.

I'm not that crazy, or am I?

The Real Earnest

When your husband begins a sentence with, "You're not going to like this, but sit down, we need to talk, I have something to tell you," is never a good sign.

In fact, my initial response is to turn and run.

When Earnest said this yesterday, I did my best to stay composed and asked, "What did you do now Earnest?"

At this point I have to cut and go back to the past and remember his vows to me at our wedding ceremony some thirteen years ago.

He promised me many things that day but he made a point to say that my life would never be boring. At the time I thought it odd, but was caught up in the moment. Now, I clearly see what he meant.

I have to go on record that my husband is probably the most unique individual I have ever met. He at times amazes me with his genius mind and there are times he leaves me baffled. He goes from being super serious one moment, spewing out great wisdom, to saying the silliest things, from out-of-nowhere! (I must admit that I cannot keep up with him.)

Sometimes he will just blurt something out that has nothing to do with what is happening at the moment. He's just responding to something we spoke about earlier like remembering a person's name.

To say that I would never be bored is such an understatement!

I never know from one day to the next what will come out of his mouth or what zany idea he has cooking up in his mind.

All I know is that whatever he is up to it will involve me having to do something that leaves me scratching my head or me giving him that blank stare and wondering, "Have you lost your mind?"

In the end, it always turns out for the best, but not until we have gone on some type of adventure be it emotional, mental, spiritual or even physical. I never know.

I'm starting to wonder if he is even human.

He even has energy like no one I have ever met. He can work from 6 a.m. until 12:00 midnight every day (including weekends) and wake up all happy and ready to go at it again. He sings, dances and even thinks he can dance like Beyonce and does a great impression of 'All the Single Ladies'.

How he does it, just blows my mind. I get up at the same time, but by 9:30 p.m. I'm nodding off. Heck, I sometimes have my pajamas on by 6:00 p.m. and he looks at me like I'm boo boo the fool!

So what was it that he had to tell me that I was not going to like? Well, stay tuned. I will know more on Monday of this upcoming week. Let's just say, get ready folks, this will go down as one of the craziest things that Earnest and I have ever done.

I just hope that I live to tell the story.

Social Networking/Media

I'm all for social networking and we have met some wonderful people through our blogs and on Twitter and FaceBook.

But, I have to draw the line somewhere. Recently I informed my husband that dinner was almost ready. I was exactly ten steps away from him standing in the kitchen when I called out to him. He was busy on the computer working in our home office.

His response to me, "Tweet me when it's done!"

No Obstacles, Just Opportunities

I had the nicest compliment the other day from out-of-the-blue. At least it seemed like one. And yet it was a real lesson for me too.

One of my co-workers came up to me and asked very seriously, "How do you do it Dianna?"

At first I was a little thrown off by the question.

"Do what?", I asked.

"What you do", she replied. "You know, whenever someone comes up to you with a problem, you listen to them, and no matter how big or impossible it seems to everyone else, you smile and then you're off and within minutes, you come back with a solution!"

At this point I cracked up.

She looked at me and said, "Seriously Dianna! There are no obstacles for you!"

I laughed so hard I thought I would pee in my pants! But, my co-worker was really being sincere. (So I composed myself immediately) and had to ask, "What are you talking about?"

She then went on to tell me, "I watch you and you make everything look so easy and what is so strange is that here you are this very small woman. You look like a little girl from a distance and I see you talking to people so serious and you make them laugh and I see them nodding their heads in agreement with you and then you come back all happy. Next thing I know. Problem solved!"

"Wow!", I told her, "you give me way too much credit."

She was silent for a moment and then said somewhat sadly, "I would never be able to go ask for help or even think to tell someone that I have a problem."

"Really?", I asked her.

"Dianna, not everyone can do what you do!" she said a little irritated with me.

I apologized and told her that I too have problems and face great obstacles every day. The way I go about solving challenges may be different, but that I'm not special by any means. But, what I have learned is that 'no' sometimes means - find another way.

Sometimes obstacles are really opportunities. And the most important lesson I have learned is that I don't have all the answers, but maybe, just maybe if I share my needs with others, someone, something, some 'way' will present itself. I admitted that I actually rely on the kindness of others in many instances to bail me out of what might seem like impossible situations. But I will never know if my 'problem' or any 'problem' can be solved if I or we don't go look for help. Share the situation. Or even ask for help. Sometimes we just have to 'make' something happen somehow.

In the end, I'm not sure if my co-worker bought what I was saying. She still seemed a little dismayed. But, it was interesting to hear her perspective of me. I don't see it. I feel like I live my life in the land of the Philistines just like everyone else fighting giants all day. It seems like one thing after another. Money issues, car issues, house issues, work issues, business issues, health issues, family issues...we all have problems.

Anybody got a BIG rock?

Doing What I Love

Shame on me! It has almost been a month since I have written on this blog. I'm certain that I am on the verge of losing my one or two readers! If they haven't already given up on me.

I have been busy working on a wonderful project bringing two beautiful cultures together for a short film festival in October. The two cultures being the Palestinians and Israelis. Yeah, pretty cool huh?

I have also been working on my next movie project Pawn Shop. We are doing a lot of marketing and publicity to build the buzz around the movie. But it has been the festival event that has taken up most of my time.

The goal is to pull it off and make sure that it is a cultural event and not a political one. I feel confident that we can and will. We are planning a night of food, dance, music, and films. So much to do, so little time! I love it!

Part of my task it to bring the two communities together.

I had the great honor of going to the Israeli Consulate here in Los Angeles last week and meeting with the Cultural Director. We are hoping that the Consulate will support this project and thus we met with them to give them a break down of how we see the night unfolding.

I am happy to share that they were very supportive.

As you might imagine, the security was very strict and our phones and laptops were confiscated at the door and we were not allowed to take them into the meeting with us. (I must admit that I felt a little naked without my phone). I've gotten so use to having my cell phone on me at all times but hey, I fully understood that I was on Israeli soil and did what I was told.

I couldn't help but wonder if they were x-raying us as well.

The meeting went very well and we were then escorted back to the security area where we were told to wait.

As we (myself and the other producer) entered the room to pick up our belongings, the door shut, and it locked behind us. We looked at each other, tried opening the door, but we were locked in. We, okay I, starting hitting buttons on the wall and knocking on the door. I said something like, "Let my people go!" My producer friend whispered, "Dianna!"

"What?", I replied, "Hey it worked for Moses!", I thought to myself.

Ten plagues later of course.

Luckily we didn't have to wait long.

And maybe it won't take me too long to write again! (Maybe)

Hey, I'm not promising any of that so let it written, so let it be done stuff!

Just know that I'm producing my butt off and I'm doing what I love.