Living On The Hill

Recently we moved into our new place here in Burbank aka Burbank Hills. OMG! What a view!

Something that I have noticed about living up here besides the spectacular view is the shift in my mindset.

For quite sometime, the impact of the non-strike hold up by the Screen Actor’s Guild, has really put a lot of us in the industry on hold. And that translates into very little if any income for those of us in the business. It has been scary especially for me as a producer as one of the most important aspects of my job is solidifying funding for all our projects.

My husband Earnest even has a nickname for me – Scrilla (slang for money!)

Well, it’s hard raising money in a good economy. Imagine how tough it is in this economy! I spend my days shaking trees, looking under rocks, pitching ideas, and then going back and shaking the same trees! Kicking more rocks hoping I’ve missed something. Sometimes the desperation can be overwhelming and this can wear a person down. I have even resorted to begging and pleading if that will free up money to keep our business going and people working.

The other night as I was driving back from a Women In Film International meeting in Beverly Hills, I drove through downtown Los Angeles and it struck me as I looked up at the tall buildings and all the busy activity - I live twenty five minutes away from downtown and can see LA’s skyline from my house!

From my backyard, I can look out and see my world from a different perspective now. For way too long I have lived in the valley looking up at the hills and wondering, hoping, and praying, how much longer will we endure such craziness.

Since we moved, it’s like a shift happened. I’m owning this hill top view. We may have been in the valley for a time, but things are changing and so should I.

We (Earnest and I) have worked our asses off (yeah I said it!) to get where we are and I have been walking around feeling defeated and it has affected my attitude, my mindset, and my perspective.

And I hope that I am not sounding arrogant, because there is a part of me that still feels like a Burbank Hillbilly. What I am saying is that my new view has given me a new way of really seeing. Seeing what I’ve been and giving me hope for what I have yet to accomplish. Where you live, I am learning, is more than just a location. It is where you live in your mind that makes all the difference. A nice address and view are just places, but when your mind is right, you see things differently, more clearly. The view from my home may have sparked a change in mindset, but the real difference came only when I looked inside myself to see my own worth, and surprisingly, that worth had little to do with anything more than my own sense of who and what I was.