Saying Goodbye To Michael Jackson

When I first heard that Michael Jackson had passed away, my first response was shock. As the day progressed, I still could not digest it.

The thought actually crossed my mind, "Maybe this is just a publicity stunt" and on some level I really wanted to believe that.

How could the little boy from Gary, Indiana who touched our hearts with his amazing voice and incredible dancing, be dead?

I was one of those little girls who crushed on Michael like many back in the day. I went to a mostly white school and I did not see many minorities. There was not one black student in my elementary school and only a handful of latinos.

So, when MJ came on the scene in our homes on television in my early elementary days, I was forever changed, touched, and impacted.

A. He was a cute little brother. (I loved the fro!)
B. He could sing.
C. He could dance.
D. And he came from a big family too.

Well, hell yeah, I could relate. On the big family part (only).

And his music. Wow. Even as a little girl, his music made me cry. It still makes me cry til this day.

I think that I like many grew up with Michael Jackson. I can still remember the 'red light' parties in the '70's when we would play all the Jackson 5 music and 'try' to dance like him. And of course none of us could, but we sure had a wonderful time trying.

Hey, I may have gone to an all white school, but in the neighborhood I grew up in, and the few people of color there were, we would search each other out and hang out and let our hair down together. (We didn't know it was called the down-low back then.)

Those were the days!

Hey, it wasn't only the latinos and blacks who loved Michael, I knew a few 'blancos' who also loved Michael. And it was Michael and his music that brought us all together.

Saying good bye to him is like losing a member of our family. I am forever grateful for his talent and the hope he gave to all of us black, white, latino, asian...the many people all over the world.

So Michael, as far as this fan is concerned, I really Never Can Say Goodbye.

Chorus:
Never can say goodbye
No no no no, I
Never can say goodbye

Even though the pain and heartache
Seems to follow me wherever I go
Though I try and try to hide my feelings
They always seem to show
Then you try to say you're leaving me
And I always have to say no...

Tell me why
Is it so

That I
Never can say goodbye
No no no no, I
Never can say goodbye

Everytime I think I had enough
I start heading for the door
There's a very strange vibration
That pierces me right to the core
It says turn around you fool
You know you love her more and more

Tell me why
Is it so
Don't wanna let yo go

(Instrumental)

(Chorus)

I keep thinkin that our problems
Soon are all gonna work out
But there's that same unhappy feeling and there's that anguish, there's that doubt
*It's that same old dizzy hang up
*Can't live with you or without

Tell me why
Is it so
Don't wanna let you go

(Chorus)

(Repeat till fade)

A Must Read!

I cannot believe this is happening here in Burbank in my own back yard. Below is a blog written by my husband, Earnest.

To think that he at one time considered working for the Burbank Police Department.

Shame on our police department if this is true. Let's bring the FED's in and fix this mess now.
_____________________________________________
Are Police Officers More Racist Than the General Population?
_____________________________________________
I read an article this week in the local paper here in Burbank about a major discrimination lawsuit against the Burbank Police Department being filed this week. The lawsuit is being brought by about five officers, three Hispanics, two males and one female, as well as an Armenian man and I believe one Black man. They allege that over the years they have been subject to numerous cases of ugly racial statements, discrimination, retaliation and general mistreatment. I don’t even want to repeat some of the stupid things that were supposedly said to them and that they had to listen to. Just suffice it to say that they were often the typical slurs and ethnic innuendos. If what they are saying is true, and frankly it is hard to imagine five people deciding to come forward with this kind of lawsuit if they weren’t sure of their case considering how hard it would be for them to keep their jobs otherwise, that I believe it must be true.

One of my initial thoughts upon reading this, is wow, can this be in my town, Burbank, in California? But it is a reminder that racism doesn’t stop at the borders of certain cities and towns. Look at the cops in New York City that viciously beat up that black man a few years ago, think about Rodney King and Mark Furman. So little Burbank is not immune and I should not be surprised.

My second thoughts were what is up with cops? Is there a certain breed of person that chooses to be a cop? Does it attract bullies and small minded people? I don’t think that is true overall, because I have met some really cool police officers and I do believe what these people do on a daily basis for all of us is indeed heroic and remarkable. But somehow these incidents happen, from one side of the country to the other and in police departments large and small. For the most part I’m going to stand by the belief that police departments only reflect the larger society. That a small percentage of them are racists, reflective of the society at large. But equally so, many are fine people.

But there is no getting around the fact that it is incredibly scary to think that in the case of a racist police officer, they are licensed to carry a gun and can legally mess with you whenever they feel like it. It is not harmless bigotry. So if the facts of this lawsuit are true, I hope the Burbank Police Department is made to pay a high price and as a result forced to make some serious adjustments to the force and in the mindset of its leadership and officers. Only then can all the people feel safe.

I'm Buddhist And Proud Of It!!

Today I am officially freeing myself. Actually, I was free all along, but I was not walking and living it. I was afraid to step out and be honest about who I really am.

Because if I was totally honest, I might be setting myself up to have to defend my own personal beliefs.

What? Is that crazy? Defend them to who?

It's stupid. That's what it is!

What I found myself doing was always appending to my proclamation of being a Buddhist practioner, that I was Christian raised (a believer), but for the last fifteen years, have also been a student of the Buddha.

Huh?

Why did I feel for the need to add or explain? And what does that all mean?

More importantly, who cares?!

And yet, I did it. Because who the hell has ever heard of a Mexican-Amercian Buddhist? "Aren't all Mexicans Catholic anyway?" was what I was afraid I would be asked.

Once again, who cares?

Was it my fear of being Mexican-American? No. Not Catholic? No. Or that I didn't perceive myself as being normal? Maybe.

And what the hell is normal anyway?

I certainly don't know!

Or was I just afraid I would not be accepted? Or possibly even judged?


Huh? Who's judging? Maybe...self?

If anyone else came to me and shared that they had these same thoughts, I would look at them and ask, "Why does it matter if you are Buddhist, Catholic, or whatever?"

I would encourage them to be their own person.

So, today, this stupid stuff ends. And it ends with me.

Being Buddhist has made me I believe a better mother, wife, friend, and yes, person.

Who cares what anyone thinks?

I am certain that no one was sitting around and wondering, "What is Dianna? Catholic? Muslim? Buddhist?"

No one other than my own ego. My own idea of self kept me prisoner. A prisoner in my mind only. Time to let go of this silly attachment and the suffering it has caused!

Get behind me Dianna (ego)!

I am one happy Buddhist! I am freeeeeeeeeeeee!

Shameless Plug

Here is a shameless plug for one of the many blogs my husband writes. I am so proud of him and his ability to speak his mind freely. Through him I have learned the power that exists in writing.

www.nomorerace.blogspot.com

Safe To Share

I think it is safe now to share what crazy, zany, and off-the-wall idea my husband had recently. And yes, I went along, so I guess that makes me just as loony.

Earnest signed us up to audition to be on a television show that was casting here locally in LA for couples. We auditioned last week. The name of the show is called "Crash Course" and it is produced by the same people at ABC's show "WipeOut."

The object of the show is for couples to compete against other couples performing car stunts for a BIG cash price. The producers of the show come up with crazy car stunts and the couples take turns attempting to perform the stunts.

Just for the record, I'm not a good driver and I am an awful passenger, especially when I ride shot gun. I drive my husband nuts! (Literally!) The Latina in me comes out and it is nerve wrecking I am told. To his credit, Earnest tunes me out except for those awkward looks he gives me when I flinch or brace myself suddenly while he is driving.

He loves to remind me that he has never had a car accident in the 30 plus years he has been driving. Me, on the other hand, well...

So, we made it to the next round of auditions and then it hit us. Maybe we should wait until the second season of the show so we can find out if this new show makes people look like idiots the way they do on "WipeOut." God knows, we don't need any help in that department. We are entertaining enough without a camera on us!

Needless to say, it was fun auditioning and getting away for a few hours alone with my husband.

I'm just not sure I really want to get in a moving vehicle, attempt a crazy car stunt and lose my wits and start cursing in Spanish in front of millions of people watching just to (possibly) win money.

I'm not that crazy, or am I?

The Real Earnest

When your husband begins a sentence with, "You're not going to like this, but sit down, we need to talk, I have something to tell you," is never a good sign.

In fact, my initial response is to turn and run.

When Earnest said this yesterday, I did my best to stay composed and asked, "What did you do now Earnest?"

At this point I have to cut and go back to the past and remember his vows to me at our wedding ceremony some thirteen years ago.

He promised me many things that day but he made a point to say that my life would never be boring. At the time I thought it odd, but was caught up in the moment. Now, I clearly see what he meant.

I have to go on record that my husband is probably the most unique individual I have ever met. He at times amazes me with his genius mind and there are times he leaves me baffled. He goes from being super serious one moment, spewing out great wisdom, to saying the silliest things, from out-of-nowhere! (I must admit that I cannot keep up with him.)

Sometimes he will just blurt something out that has nothing to do with what is happening at the moment. He's just responding to something we spoke about earlier like remembering a person's name.

To say that I would never be bored is such an understatement!

I never know from one day to the next what will come out of his mouth or what zany idea he has cooking up in his mind.

All I know is that whatever he is up to it will involve me having to do something that leaves me scratching my head or me giving him that blank stare and wondering, "Have you lost your mind?"

In the end, it always turns out for the best, but not until we have gone on some type of adventure be it emotional, mental, spiritual or even physical. I never know.

I'm starting to wonder if he is even human.

He even has energy like no one I have ever met. He can work from 6 a.m. until 12:00 midnight every day (including weekends) and wake up all happy and ready to go at it again. He sings, dances and even thinks he can dance like Beyonce and does a great impression of 'All the Single Ladies'.

How he does it, just blows my mind. I get up at the same time, but by 9:30 p.m. I'm nodding off. Heck, I sometimes have my pajamas on by 6:00 p.m. and he looks at me like I'm boo boo the fool!

So what was it that he had to tell me that I was not going to like? Well, stay tuned. I will know more on Monday of this upcoming week. Let's just say, get ready folks, this will go down as one of the craziest things that Earnest and I have ever done.

I just hope that I live to tell the story.

Social Networking/Media

I'm all for social networking and we have met some wonderful people through our blogs and on Twitter and FaceBook.

But, I have to draw the line somewhere. Recently I informed my husband that dinner was almost ready. I was exactly ten steps away from him standing in the kitchen when I called out to him. He was busy on the computer working in our home office.

His response to me, "Tweet me when it's done!"