Commitment

The dictionary defines commitment as a pledge or undertaking. For me it is both and so much more.

Our production company is embarking on our third movie project which goes into production this summer, June 13th to be exact.

This morning in our daily meeting, my husband (who is a producer and director on the project with me), asked me, "Dianna, are you fully committed to this project?"

And immediately, I knew where he was going with his questioning.

He went on to say, "I know that when YOU commit to something, there's no stopping you!"

My answer was a resounding, "YES!"

He then went on to ask, "Are we shooting a movie this summer?"

Again, with a deep conviction and resolve, I responded, "YES, we are!"

In all honesty, I AM ready! I'm ready mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

Moviemaking is not for the faint of heart so I appreciate my husband's confidence in me.

I am fully committed.

And he's right. When I do make up my mind there is no turning back.

For me, and some have laughed at this analogy, it is like brining a child into the world. Once conception occurs, get ready cause the baby's coming!! And if I treat the project as such, somehow he and I make it happen.

In this case, at least I know the due date! Now, all I have to do is work backwards and get everything ready for that date!

So when my husband asks me if I'm committed, what he is really asking me is, "Are you going to make this happen Dianna?"

And it's not as if he's expecting me to do all the work to get us into production and through production. He is very involved as he enjoys the moviemaking process as much as I do.

So, am I going to make this happen? He has no idea how far along I am in the pregnancy. I am so ready to drop this baby!

This project is very dear to our hearts as it was written by my husband with information being fed to him by some of my zany shenanigans!

The idea came to us several years ago on our first film project back in 2004.

So commitment is not only a pledge and undertaking for me, it is breathing life and giving life to to this project that has been brewing for quite some time.

We are ready to share our story; a story of survival and doing what it takes to keep it all together when things seem to be falling apart. It is a story of staying committed to yourself and your values, your ideals as well as staying committed to those you love no matter how tough life might get.

I know that this movie will touch hearts. And strangely enough it is a movie about commitment.

So, am I fully committed?

I have never stopped being committed. I've just been waiting on things outside of my control to fall into place. How foolish of me. Since when did I need permission to follow my own bliss?

Commitment only requires one action - a decision. To either do or do not.

I choose to do.

Mindful Holiness

Right before the beginning of the new year, I went on a personal sabbatical.

I didn't really go anywhere in particular. I merely set myself apart from mindless activity such as watching TV and made a conscious effort to remain mindful and focus on holiness. And not only focus on it but to find a way to put holiness into action.

I used this downtime for deep meditation, contemplation, and prayer. Instead of watching TV, I read inspirational books. I read everything from the Bible to Buddhism, Judaism, Hinduism, and Islam.

It was during this time that I discovered mindful holiness. The act of being mindful of each moment and concentrating on holiness and just being holy. And what it means to be holy.

In essence it is what Buddhist refer to as Right Concentration, Right Mindfulness, Right Effort, and Right Action.

It boils down to total awareness in every moment and acting appropriately in each moment.

The result of putting mindful holiness into practice has been astounding!

I have never, ever, felt closer to God, to life, and to people! There is no separation from me and God and others. I can only define it as complete unity with the universe.

And not only that but things seem to be coming to me so much easier such as money, solving problems, getting the things we need, making things come to fruition and so on. Things seem almost effortless.

But, the single greatest benefit from practicing mindful holiness by far is the sheer joy and bliss that I have discovered! I haven't laughed this much ever before! And I laugh a lot!

Now I get why God in the the Christian Bible urges everyone to, "Be holy for I am holy."

God is not up in heaven pointing His finger down at us and bullying us to be holy!

He is lovingly wooing us to be holy and to be mindful of every action we do for our own good so that we can experience His very best continually without cessation.

The Error Of My Silly Thoughts

The other day I had probably one of the silliest thoughts I have ever had! Of course at the time, I thought it made perfect sense.

Sad thing was, I put it out in the universe and my husband picked it up.

I was in one of those reflective moods and I mentioned to my husband that I wished I had made better choices/decisions in my younger years.

My husband sat there for a beat and then asked, "You know that if you had, we might not be sitting here together right now?"

I sat there baffled for a moment. Contemplating exactly what my husband was saying and where he was going with his train of thought.

He went on to add, "If you had, we might not have ever met nor have had the wonderful children we've been blessed with."

Again, I sat there quietly wondering what my life would be without my children and my husband. And a sadness came over me. Tears (which I tried to hide from my husband) began to well up in my eyes and I got a big knot in my stomach. My heart felt as if it were being torn apart and ripped right out of me!

Immediately, I repented of such foolishness! (Silently in my heart to God!)

As I sat there and thought about it more, I could not help but honestly ask myself, "Really Dianna? What would you have done differently?"

More importantly, how crazy is it to live in a world of woulda, coulda, shouldas? It is what it is! Get over yourself Dianna!

Somebody slap me!!!

As my husband and I talked more about these 'choices/decisions' it was apparent to both of us that it was just OLD GUILT that I was still lugging around weighing me down. Guilt that was keeping me from TOTALLY moving forward. It wasn't the decisions at all!

Ah, the mind can play such silly tricks on us if we are not diligent and fully mindful.

Silly old me! I am feeling much lighter today!

Ode To Earnest

What does one do when one wakes up nearly every morning to a partner of 17 years and the first thing out of his mouth and sounding like a little child is, "Where's my love?"

What is one to think about someone who as soon as he gets out of bed he is singing a new song? (The song usually being an old '70's song. And to this day, he has never repeated any of the songs to my recollection!)

What is one to do when their partner, while putting his clothes on for the day, is dancing? And it is usually to a drum cadence that he made up some 17 plus years ago as he marches around the room mimicking the Grambling Band Drum Majors!

What is one to believe about their partner when after he finishes his morning meditation, he pretends to fall off the meditation cushion and back into reality? And is so dramatic about it!

What is one to ponder when throughout the day, their partner has a child-like attitude towards life, not letting anything ruffle his feathers? And as he works on various projects, he literally changes his hats all day long! The funniest being a Saints helmet that is really a snack bowl, but it fits!

Answers: I haven't a clue!

All I know is that life with Earnest Harris is always an adventure. With him, all day long is play time, and yet he one of the busiest people I know!

I don't know how he does it because he finds time to be a remarkable father, a loving and doting husband, an inspiring writer, a wonderful film producer, and a talented director. And so much more, but that is another blog!

What I do know is that in his presence, he inspires me and everyone around him to be a better person and personally, I am better for having known him.

Thank you Earnest!

A Child's Innocence

Happy New Year Everyone!

Thought I would start out the year with a very light and cute family story.

As I was putting away Christmas decorations the other day in our storage, I somehow pulled a muscle in my lower back lifting a heavy box.

Later that evening, I asked my 12 year old daughter to please do me a favor and massage my lower back for me. (My daughter is our family resident nurse and loves to heal us if we so much as say something hurts us!)

As she was massaging my back, I commented and said, "Sweetie, you are such a great masseuse!"

My daughter asked innocently, "What's that?"

"Someone who does a full body massage for people," I responded.

After a brief silence, my daughter asked, "So is a person who massages people's feet called a footseuse?"

Final Thoughts For 2010

As another year comes to an end, this year, 2010 will go down as one of the most challenging years. And yet one of the most rewarding.

Challenging from a business perspective as we continue to grow our company in a not-so-friendly economic climate.

Equally challenging is being a parent of two young children transitioning into their teenage years and all that comes with that.

But if I am proud of anything that happened in 2010, it is that in spite of the crazy economy and the pressures of family and business, we kept it together no matter what.

And to be honest, there were times in 2010 it was not that easy.

I think of the many households and families who are struggling financially, or with health issues, or having problems with their kids, spouses, or dealing with taking care of their elderly family members, and it tears me up. I have never seen so many people hurting like I did in 2010. Or maybe I am just more aware than I have ever been.

All I do know is that I am so grateful for my health, both mentally and physically. I am so happy for all the people in my life and especially those who helped me, reached out to me when I needed them most, and even those who challenged me to step up my game and dared me to attain even higher goals.

I feel so loved, honored, and immensely joyous. I looking forward to 2011 with much hope, much expectation and the outlook is a good one. Come no matter what in 2011, I'm ready.

Thank you 2010!

I Got Pranked!

Yes, it's true. I GOT PRANKED! And in all honesty, deservedly so!

My husband and I have this running joke about one of my titles, La Reina, as he likes to jokingly call me with a heavy Mexican accent and rolling his R as if to impress others that he can speak Spanish well.

I usually respond back to him when he calls me this and say, "La Reina del Bano!" (Queen of the Bathroom! It's more like La Reina De La Cocina!)

Every morning we have a ritual where we meet to discuss the day's events.

Typically he will buzz me on the intercom (his office is on the first floor and mine is on the third floor) to see if I am ready for our meetings.

As of late, to cultivate my title and just mess with him, I have asked him to please 'play the trumpets' as I enter into his office area. I will yell down to him from the second floor landing when I am ready to make my big entrance. And yes, I ham it up!

And to really push the envelope, I get into full character, pretending to be quite the royal!

Usually, my husband will either mouth the sound of trumpets to the tune of the old Imperial butter/margarine commercial or he will attempt a rendition of USC's school song, 'Conquest'. Both of which crack us up because my husband cannot do this well!

So, yesterday, as usual, I am standing on the landing of the second floor with my coffee in one hand, my cell phone in the other, and I am ready to take on the WORLD! (I am feeling pretty full of myself!)

I yell down, "Okay, I'm ready! Play the trumpets!"

Out of nowhere, I hear blaring through our speakers, "Hail To The Chief," the Presidential theme song.

I take that first step and just lose it. I am laughing so hard that I spill my coffee, drop my cell phone, tears are rolling down my cheeks, my side is hurting, and I am pressing my knees together and squirming to keep from having an accident in my pants! All the while hoping someone will yell, "CUT!!" so that I can get out of this scene!

It was like one of those Harvey Korman/Tim Conway scenes where they are both laughing during their skit and can hardly contain themselves, but they continue on with their lines!

AND I am attempting to keep my composure like Carol Burnett did in the 'Gone With The Wind' spoof where she is wearing the curtain rod dress. I'm sure I look as ridiculous as she did!

My husband, all the while is hooting and howling.

To make matters even funnier, when I get down to the first floor, he is standing there at attention and saluting me!

Well, needless to say, it was just plain funny.

So my dear husband, you got me and you got me GOOD! Don't think I can top this one!

I concede.